3/3

ytd i did smthn so unexpected, i meet chau. he wan to come my hse visit, i think anyone that wana visit u meaning they respect u, no matter wat i could not reject this solid reason, i actually let him in. he wana d2 wif me, well i cant just say u suck plyin wif u is a waste of my time, so i m forced to add him bck to the friend list (currently i blocked him, of cos). i nvr make a noise to comment on wat he play, cos i dun care anymore. i ll always nag/advice/scold ppl during games when things dont go according to manner, i believe ur passion and commitment for the team will compensate ur lack of skills, true right? selfish bastards? si kai la! nvr once ppl state my mistake during games, of cos i know i made a lot of mistake, they just dun wana say, well u keep in ur heart is ur business, i see dao anythn bu sun yan i will str stab u in the heart, see how long u can keep, truth damage bonds, but as long as it doesnt break, it will grow stronger, i guess. but ini org aku dah x peduli dah, dia mau apa sukahati ja la. then he jio me to his hse, i accept without question, he shui gak, but his mama watch me grow for 17 yrs, i watch his sisters grow for duno how many yrs, so me and me sis went. he actually gav up gaming and suggest sing k, i was like O.O?? we actually sang for 4 hrs non stop, wif our sisters, well good also, i dont nid to chat much wif him, it saves my ears. 1 time i went out, someone tell me that the other one got depress cos i din care bout wat she say or doesnt even look at her properly wif both eyes. that situation was cos i gt nth to talk to her mah, nt close also, but when she talking i also got look at her u ppl din see nia. then 1 time i ply bball, the opponent got so angry and he ply very rough, i was told that he was angry cos i 整场连正眼也不瞄他一眼. i was thinking, so u ppl enjoy when i look at u a lot izit...? why would u even nid my acknowledgement from the start? i had a reason, i was planning how the game gonna flow, so actually nt just him, i din look much at my opponent cos im thinking a lot, while looking at my own team mates, and bouncing the ball in the same time, whr got time to look at u? u wan then u team me la... u say i lanci... i got wat to lc i also duno... but ytd, really, i m avoiding any eye contact and continuation of any conversation, anythn he ask or say, there is only 1 answer from me, "是吗？我不懂喔... 没关系，不重要" i very bad mah? ppl ajak sing k i ignore ppl.. yea, i think so too, just like u :3

today my sis spm result come out, u dun nid to noe wat she get, but u noe wat, she got C for her BC. since standard 5, she had been reading novels, those few hundred pages book full of cina words no matter is romance or fiction, she actually got C, i was laughing for like 10 mins non stop. she is wearing glasses cos of this, she hide in the toilet wif her phone reading the novel she downloaded(cos if room got light mama will tiok us), haiz wat a joke... now everytime when she open her mouth, talking bull shit, i will be like: wa, u talk so good, but cina got C, she cant even argue a word =D nt to say i lc, mayb im just jealous, of wat? i cant explain properly,  but the reactions when we both got result are different, i had always been envy of ppl like this, so little pressure, my cousin who skip class everyday, join gangster, smoke, but spm got 1 A and fail 1 (only), my aunt happy dao wan open champagne, even my mama congratz him. i always tot that i alrdy understand, that life was nvr fair, but when the unfairness happens in frnt of me, that feeling just come out, mayb this is the reason why im having a bad mood today. i always wanted to stay stupid, or to say im willing to be stupid, mayb im just a ungrateful whining brat, but im in this middle of the sea stuck between 2 land, 无法向前，却无路可退, the land behind doesnt belong to me anymore, but to reach the frnt, abit far la... this is wat happen when u r having a holiday and u haven start work yet, ur mind pop out all those mm 3 mm 4 punya benda and write to dmg ppl's eye, haiz... slp bah

25/2

weak, totally weak, canot continue this shit, is time to execute operation B, in order to face myself TT

14/2

today was never a special day for me, never.. but everytime you are drive into a corner, things that u dont wana remember somehow just like to come out of no whr. How i spend my midnight, i came bck on 9pm heard ppl asking for yamcha, and straight lead me to giv rejection. I dont see why i should go, its boring, and i just ate, and i found out that this tea session exist after i go through the most dreadful paper in my life, so i shall pass. I am thinking of relaxing, maybe dota? then ni pass by the traffic light, i decide to Uturn from behind maluri to cheak out the court. Its usually pack, but that doesnt stop me from checking, and finally this day come. empty court. I was so excited and grateful that i skip tea and come here, shooting free throw alone clears my mind. Then someone came, oh its kingz from COC :D we played 1v1, of cos i cant beat him, he can be consider as a full time basketball player, he earn money while playing game no matter win or lose, his fulltime is a car-window sticker. but recently he got a new job to coach SMKTBM girls team. He told me bout his story coaching them for a week, from total beginners to msswp 1st runner up and no3 (U15, U18). I can see from his eyes, sincerity, wet eyes, how happy he is even though they lost to chong hwa, they created their own history. Envy was my only emotion back then, rather than struggling wif papers, i rather struggle wif my life. Not only that, i taught more than 3 of my friends somethn and they cant do it until now, or maybe they done want to. Of cos not everythn that i said is correct, but the feeling of ignored, u noe? nvm i noe jiu hao liao. Girls in 1 week can play interzone, our gang play 4 yrs still losing to kids, pls this is not kiasu, is pure disappointment TT From envy, other feeling like sad and angry come out everywhr.... suddenly no mood liao... then go home, door lock, so go lim hse slp... and this is juz the start of the day... valentines day,,,

noon dota, lose 3 games, disappointment again,,. tmr gt exam? whr got mood to study liao.. i went back to the basketball court again, my slipers are torned to half, forced to wear shoe. In the end, bball is the only thing that calms my mind, u have to focus 120% on the court, no matter is ally enemy ball or floor, u dont pay attention to the floor u might pokai :D well, i played my own, still got lose, but i dont nid to be angry for the team sake, so its quite satisfying

night go zh hse, mama got biskut giv his mama, my leg alrdy lembik + not enof slp, but nvm if not giv now weekdays lagi susah, me and lim go, aunty see us, the phrase of the day:
2 of u wear red shirt, come see aunty on Valentines..... wan dan liao lo... :D

5/2

LAI LIAO LA!!! THE FEEL LAI LIAO!! 3 assignment deadlines + presentation tmr and exam on the nxt 2 days, i have less than 48 hrs and i am typing blog, LAI LIAO LA. i am actually more excited compare to stress, no words can explain how i feel now and i dont even know how to use proteus (a software that generate circuit), how to present tmr? how how AHAHAHAHA, wo mama i wan sot gao liao, 2 more subj haven study and im worrying bout how to generate a circuit, wait how bout the other 2 assgnment? which one shud i start doing 1st? study or assgn? nvm i am not asking anyone, bu yong fan dao ni men, i will answer it myself, i am quite curious wat action i will make, how arr, wtf am i thinking i also duno, now i think i must be a M, very serious M, i am enjoying this moment, i dont regret relaxing ytd, or the day be4, or more, ahh study is only interesting 48 hrs be4 the exam start, is this climax? or ending?

2/3

I am nt suppose to slp for the nxt 2 hrs due to somethn, so nid to type smthn to occupy time. Well finals is coming but study is not in the option, i rather write blog. Today is nt reli a good day, i had a bad morning, bad breakfast, lost a d2 game, failed a coc atk, want go eat lunch but mum drove my car out, even lost in "unblock me" 7-6 to jk, then go home fail another d2 game, go bball lose 2 games to kids straight, emo go mamak drink the teh'o today so tasteless, go bck home lose another d2 game, omg enough.... i juz realize i din study at all today, no matter how chill i am, i shudnt be chill anymore... rite..?

I choose to bck uni tonight even though there aint any class anymore, its the only way to stop me frm d2. my normal route is jln segambut, jln duta, then highway straight to serdang, it would take me at most 1hr and if i go 120km/h 35 mins also can reach. But when i reach the divider, suddenly i feel like taking jalan kuching. suppose if i take the turning in frnt i can link bck to KL and take the highway, somehow i feel like trying the cheras highway, so i took it. Its fun, i am totally entertained by the 1 hr trip to get out frm the stupid silk highway, juz to escape cheras nid 1hr, how fckin big are u man... then when i turn in to kajang, i kinda lost my way between kajang and putrajaya, then get lost for another 15 mins finally i escape sg chua to bangi, then in the end open waze to escape the stupid highway... silk highway is very sempit, construction everywhr frm connought til kajang, the roads keep merging and spliting, but its fun, driving a new road clear my head, getting lost bring me excitement, reaching my room makes me more happy than winning any games that i lost for the day, so nvm la, finally i get my mood bck, but the day is ending, so today is still a bad day....

be4 the long trip, i put wagakki band songs into my phone, which lighten my whole long and never ending but it actually ended in the end trip. i like this band very much, guitar, bass, drum, 三味線, 尺八, 和太鼓, gu zheng, and the singer sings like 吟詩, no wear specs also 眼鏡照跌. their main song is a cover for vocaloid senbonzakura. i dont reli like vocaloid, its a 3d projection of created anime character singing a song tuned by pc, well since its pc sync the pitch is inhuman high, but it doesnt attract me much. but how this band perform this song, duno la, i simply like it, 愛一個人TM是不需要任何理由的 :D it just made my day eventhough the day dont have much left LOL 
Senbonzakura -- wagakki band

22/1

今早我起来尿尿，看见隔壁房，等开着。是TM 5am，不是开玩笑。他突然走出来，我赞他勤劳，他说他有考试。我回房，坐着，看回自己，是我太轻松了吗？我自己也有4，5个assgn deadline，又不是考很好，我有什么资格轻松！但是我还真没有点点想温书的心.... 又没动力，又没兴趣，你问我为什么选这科，我告诉你我每天都在后悔.... 我看见自己室友，因上学期GG了两科，Ptptn这Sem不付，爸妈从Epf都要硬硬挤钱给他，他也打死不放弃EE，因为他爱电子，我其实是非常敬佩的... 但他每天都得花几个钟应付两个女生，不用怀疑，是两条船；每天都不温书，煲剧比我凶；上课一半出去讲电话，不回来那一种... 如此典范在我身边，我怎么会想读呢... 我讲真很7想Unfriend他，但他除了不读书之外，就没不好的地方了... dilemma... 眼看身边的华人朋友，上课再闷都目不转睛... 我却在打Blog... 我室友？他在房间睡觉... 我唯一一个优点就是够淡定，够随便，但现在看回，这个淡定以后会不会害死我... 读书啊！！！剩两个礼拜罢了！！！等下，看完anime先吧....

2/1

Happy new year... well its a little late, who cares. 31/12 is the day whr normally ppl go dpc countdown, i remember every yr i will go chau place, walk to dpc, watch the mercun, then slp at his house. Actually, watching mercun, is boring, very boring, for me, i dont enjoy it, somemore with all the people there, annoying (宅男特色, gg dont want admit also canot liao) I remember i will always get sick after staying at chau house, 1 thing is his room is small, but he ask 8 guys to slp together, u know i would rather slp on the stairs than go pek wif them.

Then the night no one will wana slp, no matter how many times aunty come screw us, his sister go complain to papa, kita tak bagi 1 tahi langsung :D then someone discover this game, a combination of push ups + poker, we dont raise money, 伤感情 (not much left though), we raise the number of pumps we do. after a few Hundreds, finally someone is tired, so we can try to slp.



BUT those bastard will talk, talk, man talks, boy talks, girls talk (聊心事), how is ur siang rui, every fckin year. I have the habit of slpin early, u know like 10pm, 11pm, and they can talk til 4am, 0.0... and the next day, we got sick.


I remember last year, was the last year i do it, but i didnt go for the mercun, i sit in the k-room, keep singing til everyone come bck, then eat, the go back sing again. Even the girl (his relative) diam diam one, ignite sia also start singing liao, cos of how thick face + dont wan face style of singing. It was all good til they come back. Well chau just dont like to sing k, i think. So he would close it and ask us to ply stupid things with him, cards, chess, bb-gun shoot through paper (ok thats new, now i know how bored u are), whole night wasted, i would rather lose my voice, so diff our characteristic, interests and everything, its amazing how could we be friends for 15 years, and 13 of them r in the same school.

This year, i came back home, and my sis was goin to his house (our sis are friends too), she ask me to fetch,
i tell her: "my dear sis, ur bro is not at home, understand??"
sis: "huh?"
me: "我不在家，UNDERSTAND?"
sis: (Y)
when she come back, she tell me,
sis: "ppl ask me why u no come, i say u still at uni gt things to do, 厉害 leh??"
(有生之年第一次觉得自己亲妹妹好霖可爱)






1 yr can chg so many things, there r more, alot more things that had change, the person that i used to love, the things that i love to do, the song that i love to listen, even the underwear that i love to wear also canot fit liao (肥了，我会检讨，不用多心). I got to know myself more, exploit myself more, see how bad is myself, how good... nah nothing good, its getting clear when u r getting old, things that stay the same, they look the same, they are still the same, but how u see it, how u feel it, 昔日已非，差异决然.

 Though there is 1 thing that remains the same....