8/11

despite all the bullshits i typed, i went to play basketball. life is too boring without it.
boss tanya: "mau?"
aku cakap: tak mau! tak mau!,
then the 3rd time: "ok i on wat time?"

situation is the same, this kind of teammate and that kind of opponent, again. how much shit is this getting to me, 犯贱 meh?





as usual, i try to communicate, remind, work together, but somehow thai kid can understand better compare to chinese, 吾言难明？非汝耳不鸣?! slow reaction, small processor, blind, deaf, whichever term you use, they make me wana puke. since you are alrdy an OKU, pls la, drop your ego, hold ball 1st thing, shoot, wtf zz like that waste chance, u expect me to give you the ball meh? continuous missing breaks the team streak, fire, ohm, heat, will, whatever term you use, and you lose faith, if me also dont want give you ball, til u go home also i think u wont touch the ball. shoot is 1 thing, layup somemore.


layup is the most basic, easiest, accurate technique to score GIVEN:


1) you pass through all enemy
2) you get close enough to lay the ball in to the hoop
3) if 1 & 2 is not fulfill, please be either tall/strong enough to push in





budak, depan defender dance chacha while
holding a basketball is definitely NOT passing through your enemy, and how far are you frm the damn hoop, and you really got the balls to throw it in frnt of justin. FINE, i am ready to save your ass, but justin din even give me a chance cos you did it TOO obvious and he just slam your damn ball away right in frnt of your face. suppose trial and error is a good way to improve, but by changing chacha to samba IS NOT HELPING, AT ALL. normally 1 slap is enough, wow this guy is persistence enough even i dont feel like stopping him anymore... i wanted to smacked him in the face, its not that i din tell him, like i say,  OKU, deaf, or maybe i aint persuasive enough, true, who am i to tell you facts, ok fine ignore me pls, keep doing it, i bo bat jiu kua liao.

1 game, blood rush 1 time, looks like i have very low EQ, and today i actually lost to kids, budak budak sapu depan muka aku, 何等凄惨，谁能知晓? its not that i am scare of losing, nor 输不起, but, why should i lose? if we give in everything and we still lose, its cool, i find it fun, but i gav in +10, u pour in *(-1), how much effort i put in is futile, wasted, throw off, crumble, destroyed, whichever word you find it convenient.



i had a dream, a pair of shoes, a red-white jersey, a team of friends, tons of practices, countless of victories over loss. this make me regret studying, having results, end up in a different environment. i hate studies, no matter how much i score, i wont feel happy; no matter how interesting the subject is, i wont feel like studying. these yrs, i have been dreaming, slping, farming in class, i always sit beside a plug to charge my phone, i farm every 20 mins, spacing off while troops are getting ready.

but every time before exam, when i see the price per subject, and my mum's face, i have no choice but to study. sit down on the damn chair, staring at the past yr papers, without knowing how and why, i memorize every single question and answer, 12 hr be4 i go into the damn hall. thermodynamics, i never actually understood why this formula need to be used in this situation, the teacher was very lenient in class, as long as u shut up, he dont care, so i never actually listen to him for the whole sem.(and i get my Xbows, yeah!)




my carry marks was 20.6/40, well at least got half haha for final i got a B-, 65-69, so what i get for finals is 44/60, very low marks leh?? but i only had 12 hrs excluding sleeping and eating time, and there is only 8 past year papers, the 5th question was something new so this score was expected.

so this means i will score better if i study more, but i dont like it, so fck it. i nvr actually had the balls to pursue what i loved, i missed so many things, so many chances, so many people, cos i din do it right, cos i din say it out, i realize, but i din grab it. 21 is a year that open minds, despite its open, the things which were missed will nvr come bck, the Ds i got will never turn to A, the things i said will never be forget, the actions i done will always be remember, and the things that i havent done, will still remain undone, no matter how much i redo it now.

i am too old for dreams now, should i start by throwing my old basketball shoes and gift my ball to someone?? maybe that damn jersey also, i wont be wearing it anyway. why i 去到那么尽? because i love basketball, i dont dare to love it more, but i am scared of dumping it, 这种暧昧乱伦混淆的少女心情, 真TM難明~ <3 br="">